Listen How Now:
The quality of your sex is directly proportional to the attraction you and your partner experience.
So what is attraction? Attraction is the interplay of contrast. It is the negative to the positive, the up to the down, the in to the out, and the male to the female. All of these things are magnetically attracted to each other. The union of that contrast in people is sex. The more the contrast the better the spark, or attraction, and the more intense the exchange of energy.
The key to taking advantage of this process is understanding where you are on the scale of male to female, and where on that scale you are relative to your partner. Your partner also needs to know the same understanding relative to you. In this way if you want to increase and sustain attraction - that magnetic spark - you want to realize more of that part of you that is polarized to the major part of your partner. The attraction is about polarization and flow of energy from one contrast to another. The more feminine your partner is the more masculine you want to be to create that attractive spark and visa versa. In fact, the thing that attracts you and your partner - magnetism this principle of attraction - is what the entire universe runs off of.
The question arises; "Is this how you have to be all the time towards your partner, especially if this is not necessarily your true nature?"
No, only when you want to create this attractive spark and want to initiate the flow of energy. This is your choice.
The other question that inevitably comes up is: ”Ok, so I have to be more masculine or feminine depending on my partner to create that spark. Then what exactly does being masculine or feminine mean? I mean other than the obvious anatomical stuff?”
Well, masculine and feminine have less to do with your physiology than it does with your energetic attitude. Understand that women can be more masculine than some men and visa versa.
What are those tendencies that delineate masculine (below M) from feminine (below F)? Here are some examples:
M: Fixed ----------------------F: Fluid
M: Grows by challenge-------F: Grows by praise
M: Directed--------------------F: Both/Diffused
M: Analytical------------------F: Intuitive
M: Angular--------------------F: Curved
M: Sharp----------------------F: Soft
M: Focused-------------------F: Infinite
M: Consciousness------------F: Life force/Nature
M: Desires trust--------------F: Desires love
M: Purpose driven-----------F: Devotion
M: Past driven ---------------F: Present driven
M: Release from constraint--F: Unity with everything
M: The warrior---------------F: The goddess
These are just some concepts that relate to male and female energy; If you want more try reading some of the works of David Deida, Alison Armstrong, or Satyen Raja.
After understanding the differences, next you want to identify which set is closest to you natural tendencies, and when you want that attractive spark you must then accentuate those tendencies. This will attract the most compatible partner; someone perfectly designed to satisfy all your more interesting quirks. And if you are with someone already these concepts will take your relationship to the next level.
Realistically, all you have to do to totally integrate these concepts is to pick one or two of the tendencies that are your weakest and work on then until they are naturally at the level you want them. Then just pick one or two more and keep on going. It saved my marriage.
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Thank You,
Sifu Marcus Lovemore
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